Last week, I mentioned liking a friend's jeans and they responded, "they're an old pair that fit me before I gained a bunch of weight. I'm getting there though." The compliment was the grey jeans and yet somehow I unintentionally complimented their weight loss goals. Naturally, I then thought their legs did look pretty tiny.
In January, I saw another’s Instagram caption that read: "Exercise really helps me with my mental health. Back on it for 2021." Quite the juxtaposition. Is it mental health relief - an act of self-care - or a fixed plan for exercise, diet and/or weight loss? The photo was of their body, posed and filtered and that angled their slim physique. I couldn't help but wonder its real purpose. Seeking praise and most likely compliments about looking 'good', or actually doing it for themselves - but then why the need to show proof/evidence?
On another occasion, I heard a friend's boyfriend ask, "are you eating chocolate at the moment?" I found this quite sad, a shame one's partner is conscious that some food items may be allowed or permitted at any given time. Not only could this restriction have an influence on him (been there before) but it made me subconsciously question whether I wanted a slice of chocolate cake too.
Finally, I spoke to someone on the phone and a good couple of minutes was centred around their "fat-boy mountain of sausages and mash" for dinner. A normal dinner, for most households probably a weekly occurrence. Mention of this caused uproar of "once a week! I never have sausages, only once a year!"
Some conversations in particular, without sounding insensitive, I want to label behaviour for what it is and get it out in the open. Disordered thoughts. Restriction. Rules. Compulsive exercise. There, that is what diet culture is doing to you. Do you feel the instant power and liberation you've gained from realising the truth, freeing yourself from its lies?
I am not criticising these events. Given my experience, I am a lot more sensitive to diet language than others and learning to not let it affect me. I also know (too well) the severity of these comments and how they can impact our mental health. Unfortunately, this type of language comes all too naturally to us and is spoken on a daily basis - I gained this information without asking for it nor even breaching the subject.
Diet culture is 'normal', accepted, even, and eating disorder talk is avoided. Coming from experience, it is a too shameful and embarrassing subject to raise. Denial is key, follow the rules, protect yourself - and yet, do these not derive from the same fears?
I appreciate that I can't control nor am I responsible for other people's decisions, I just wish we were all on the same path to recovery (purely selfish to help me feel better about it) and not so heavily influenced by toxic messages. Trained to feel 'better', more worthy and approving of ourselves by embodying a status of 'health'. I get it. I've been there, am still there. It's taken me years to find the confidence to try and unlearn this, follow new role models and do what I want to do, not should.
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