Persistence

To invest time, money, physical and mental energy (and many tears), day after day, into a job that I love but has a high chance of no reward makes me incredibly sad.

Welcome to running a business.

People often think that being an entrepreneur is rewarding, selling a product that you created. In 2015, I was blindsided by excitement with an unfaltering confidence and naivety. Nowadays, I am tired – the journey is nothing like I expected nor imagined, still. So much harder that I am not sure I would go into business knowing what I now know.

Nearly seven years down the line and I often feel disheartened and uninspired by the struggle of trying to get in front of buyers. It is in their DNA to hold the power; without knowing it – or perhaps they do – they could change the financial projection of a business in just one decision.

Since 2021, I have been in discussion with two retailers for sixteen months and one year respectively. One of whom I have had two meetings with. Still, I am chasing them, asking, hoping, almost begging that they will firstly respond, and secondly agree to launch (and thirdly hoping the buyer does not change, again). Ignoring me is the more likely outcome. Bury the prospect as though our conversations never happened.

From my position, I could – but will not – voice these concerns to them because of the power they hold. Anything to ensure I am the friendly supplier who is happy to work around their schedule, agreeing to their terms and meeting demands. The risk of them ignoring me, not reviewing my brand and/or delisting us is too high a price.

I have accepted that this is one game I cannot win alone. Countless samples and weekly emails later and still no luck. My mission from day one was to set up a business so that “the rest of the world” could experience the same mood and energy boost, to feel this good without the sugar crash. In reality, the execution is so much harder. Tied in with competition, minimum order quantities and financial margins, reaping the benefits is almost impossible. Unfortunately, I want and need these retailers to get in front of new customers. Someone, one single person, to believe in the brand, in me, and provide access to the people who are looking for a product like mine.

(On one occasion, following the advice of “doing something that stands out”, I photoshopped and framed a product picture with 30+ customer reviews and dropped it off for the buyer at Whole Foods Market. Still to date I have no idea if they received it).

Persistence in self-employment is rarely seen nor recognised; a lack of reward that is deflating, belittling and un-encouraging. Many of us continue to ride this not-so-merry go round and I personally often wonder what the point of it all is. If hard work pays off, why am I still searching for the answer of how to get there? Is it unfair of me to expect that I should be further along by now?

The constant hustle is exhausting. Quite frankly, frustrating. Envious of ever-growing brands on social media and waiting, hoping, optimistic for my chance. Constantly questioning my productivity and sceptical about how much longer I can keep going.

Nearly seven years down the line and I am still playing devil’s advocate with myself; choosing to put myself in this difficult position and chase success when I could just as easily rid myself of the hassle and burdens business carries, for better (or for worse). Ironically, the power has always been in my hands.

Resilient or stubborn – because if I give up now, who wins? I remain this brand's most loyal advocate.